(Clearwater, FL) – After years of collecting data, examining DNA samples, and thousands of hours of predictive modeling using the nation’s most powerful supercomputers, the NIH has finally discovered the source of avian flu.

“This was not an easy task,” Dr. Lawrence F. Makelbreaker said in an interview with our correspondent. “The complexity and scale of this problem should not be understated.”

Dr. Makelbreaker and his associates at the NIH held back their findings for three years before releasing them this week in the International Journal of Non-Tenured Contagious Disease Researchers (IJNTCD).
To the surprise of their counterparts throughout the world, Dr. Makelbreaker and his team identified birds as being both the originators and carriers of the avian flu.

“It never crossed my mind,” stated Dr. Ji Kim of the Chinese Institute for Retired Cheese Workers. “Americans are far ahead of us in this field of study. We can learn much through our study of their methods, and infringements of their copyrights.”

It is unclear whether birds as a whole will be held responsible for the spread of the disease, or if individual birds will be indicted. Either way, these findings will serve as a benchmark for future studies, and the dispersement of billions of dollars in federal research grants.