(Washington, DC) – The United States Federal Reserve Chairman Janet Yellen is planning to raise interest rates to their highest level in over a decade in an attempt to address what leaders see as a failure of the Fed to be relevant and impactful for the nation’s people and economy.

During the period between 1986 and 2002, in what has become known as the Great Moderation, Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan managed to keep inflation low, recessions short, and recoveries prompt. During this period, Chairman Greenspan was well known throughout the country, and was often on the cover of major national magazines, such as Time (multiple), Newsweek,  Institutional Investor, Fortune, the Economist, and Business Week, among others. He was also on television often, was the author of nearly ten books, and the subject of many more. There is no doubt that during these years, there was a high interest in the Federal Reserve.

After Alan Greenspan left the chairmanship in 2006, Chairman Ben Bernanke took over. During this time, interest in economic matters was directed toward the recession and housing crisis. Bernanke was on the cover of Time magazine and The Atlantic, as well as some smaller-circulation glossies, but never gained the popularity and interest that Greenspan commanded.

After Janet Yellen took over the Chairmanship in 2014, she managed to get on a single cover of Time magazine. 

When a sampling of pedestrians on New York City sidewalks were asked to identify Yellen’s picture, none were able to do so. The most popular answer was “that woman who runs the bagel shop.” When the same pedestrians were asked who Janet Yellen was, 40% identified her as being the Attorney General under President Bill Clinton; 20% identified her as the wife of Boris Yeltsin, former President of the Russian Federation; 20% corrected the interviewer, saying that the Michael and Janet Jackson song was called “Scream,” and not “Yellin’.”; 10% admitted to not having any idea who she was. The final 10% ran away, saying that they weren’t going to snitch on anyone, and they have an alibi.

In other words, over the course of the past three Chairmanships, interest in the Federal Reserve has steadily fallen, to the point where there is nearly no interest at all among the general public.

Janet Yellen plans to increase the interest rate in the Federal Reserve by creating a music video, produced by Quincy Jones, and featuring some of the highest grossing American musical acts of the past decade. Artists lined up so far include The Rolling Stones, Bon Jovi, Paul McCartney, Madonna, Jimmy Buffet, Elton John, U2, and Bruce Springsteen. Nobel laureate Robert Dylan is reportedly collaborating with Quincy Jones on the writing of a special song to honor the Federal Reserve, with a working title of “We are Still the World.”

If the music video doesn’t raise the public interest rate in the Federal Reserve, then Janet Yellen has threatened to raise the Federal Funds Rate to an unacceptable level.