(Annapolis, MD) – It has been an emotionally difficult day for Novel Premise staff writer Cyril Martinelli (i.e., me). For the first time in his writing career, he has been called “FAKE.” (Editor’s Note: The Mayor’s remark was in response to the article here.)

Martinelli, staff writer for the Annapolis-based Novel Premise, which is notable for being the eighth most questionably trustworthy news source in the Annapolis area, has been writing for nearly 45 years. In that time, even during his crayon years, he has never been called FAKE. He has previously been called untalented, irrelevant, and even incomprehensible, but never FAKE.

Staff writer Cyril Martinelli sat down with Martinelli for a lunch interview at Chick & Ruth’s Delly earlier today, where they shared a #130 (really good, by the way) and a lemonade.

Novel Premise: So, what do you have to say about the mayor’s allegation that you are FAKE?

Martinelli: To be fair, despite what the headline of this article says, Mayor Pantelides really only called my article FAKE. He didn’t say anything about me personally. However, my writing is like my baby. I don’t have kids, so this is the closest I’ll ever get to understanding how it feels to have your baby called “ugly.”

Novel Premise: Did the mayor have anything else to say?

Martinelli: Yes. He said that he just wanted to make sure that the citizens were receiving the correct information. So that means we are both on the same page, though I’m probably somewhere in the margin.

Patron #1: Hey, fella; are you okay? You’re talking to yourself.

Novel Premise/Martinelli: We’re fine. Mind your own business.

Patron #1: Looney Toon…

Novel Premise: Have you been writing long?

Martinelli: Since just before kindergarten. My mom told me back then that I was talented. She kept saying that until I had to learn cursive.

Novel Premise: Hold on a moment. It says in your bio that you’ve been writing for nearly forty-five years, but you look to be almost 70 years old.

Martinelli: Oh, thanks for that. Sixty-eight, actually. I took several decades off in order to learn how to type.

Novel Premise: I see. If the mayor were here right now, what would you say to him?

Martinelli: Well, first of all, he wouldn’t be here right now. He’s out knocking on doors.

Novel Premise: Why doesn’t he ring the doorbell?

Martinelli: Don’t know.

Novel Premise: Is he starting up his campaign for re-election?

Martinelli: Don’t know.

Novel Premise: Well, if he were here, what would you say?

Martinelli: Hello.

Novel Premise: And then…?

Martinelli: I’d ask him if he wants to share a #130 with me; my treat. It’s really good! Probably one of the best dishes at Chick & Ruth’s Delly on Main Street in downtown Annapolis.

Novel Premise: Are you advertising for Chick & Ruth’s Delly? That sounded a bit like product placement.

Martinelli: Are you calling me FAKE?

Novel Premise: Hey, if the shoe fits…

The interview ended abruptly, with half of the #130 (i.e., #65, not on the menu) being boxed up to go.

Cyril Martinelli appeared tired, haggard and a bit disoriented after this trying day, and he just held out hope that someone in Annapolis would show appreciation for his fine journalism. Thankfully, as we were leaving Chick & Ruth’s Delly, on Main Street in Annapolis, we ran into a correspondent for the Naptown Observer, who recognized us and told us we were doing a fine job.

Smiling, Cyril Martinelli grabbed the correspondent’s arm, and said, “Did you know that George Washington slept here? Right up there, in the Maryland inn. Isn’t that cool?”