(London, UK) – HRH Prince William, Duke of Cambridge has caused a stir among Londeners by expressing that he is in love with the Countess of Strathearn. The reactions have been mixed regarding this expression of love by Prince William, with many of the city’s residents reporting having heart palpitations and flutters, and many tourists, mostly American, expressing disdain and shock.  

Prince William was bound in marriage to Catherine Elizabeth “Kate” Middleton in Westminster Abbey on April 29th, 2011, bringing much joy throughout the UK and abroad. Around the world, millions of well-wishers watched on their televisions while the two exchanged wedding vows. It seemed to many at the time that this was a fairy-tale marriage.

“Well, it is,” said Prince William. “It is very much a fairy-tale marriage. I couldn’t be more happy than I am now, unless Kate and I were to have a third child.”

At a pub often frequented by American tourists, there was heated debate over how to react to these remarks. “How can he say that he is in love with Kate, and then also say he’s in love with the Countess? Poor Kate!” one patron said. “I don’t know how they do things here in England, but in America, that would never happen. Our President is absolutely faithful to his third wife, and has very high standards of conduct.”

Barman Albert “Skip” Trummer shook his head, lit up another flaming martini, and turned his back on the tourists. “They’re obviously not from around here; or New York, either.”
 

Thomas Youghiogheny, from the U.S. State of Pennsylvania also expressed shock. “I was in Scotland last week, and everyone I spoke with was happy about Prince William being in love with the Countess of Strathearn. Not one person I met was in the least bit upset. What happened to the morals in this country?”

The Dutchess of Cambridge has not returned calls from Novel Premise, but gave the Lake Country News-Sun (Gurnee, Il) the following statement: “My husband and I thank you, and deeply appreciate your interest in the welfare of our family. We wish to assure you that we have a very happy marriage, and that neither I nor my husband get confused with my multiple titles. As for any further concern, I’m sure that a trip to Wikipedia will put your minds at ease. However, please, please, please, stop bringing up the Oxford thing.”