(Cape Canaveral, FL) – Wind farms are now the most popular form of alternative energy in America, surpassing solar energy by nearly 150%. The prevalence of wind farms is due to the ease with which wind turbines can be erected, low maintenance and lifecycle cost, and the relatively minor impact on the environment. As compared with solar energy, wind turbines can produce more than 20 times the amount of energy per square yard.
This has been good news for the energy industry, bad news for the coal industry, and good news for Dutch immigrants. Farmers who need a secondary form of income during low-yield years are praising the addition of wind turbines to their income stream as being a live saver. However, other industries have been hurt by these wind farms in surprising ways.

Over the entire East Coast of America, the sailing industry has seen a sharp decline in both new boat sales and the continued ownership of sailboats, with a record number of sail-based boats being abandoned in shallow waters over the past five years. Sailors are turning to motor-based propulsion in order to continue to satisfy their love of the open waters, as the amount of wind across the Eastern seaboard has been reduced by 30% due to the prevalence of both land-based and off-shore wind farms.

“They are just taking all of the wind out of our sails,” James Coventry of Mariottsville, NC complained. “When there is no wind, you can’t sail a sailboat. Lately, I’ve done more standing still than actual sailing. So, I bought myself a jet ski.”

The reduction in wind has also caused a record number of sailors to be stranded in the ocean, requiring the U.S. Coast Guard to rescue them. “We’ve rescued over a hundred sailors, and 200 non-sailors this month alone,” said Captain Jack Ferrengi of the USCFC Polar Whale. “It seems like this is all we do, and I don’t see the end of it until they do something about these wind farms.”

Wind farms redirect and absorb wind so that it is no longer in the lower atmosphere, thereby leaving an unnatural calmness on the opposite side of the turbines from where the wind originates. As the wind farms become more active, they create vortices that draw in wind from over a hundred miles away. The result is large pockets of stagnant air over bays, inlets, rivers and the oceans in which there is no movement whatsoever.  

The U.S. Coast Guard warns that if you find yourself in one of these pockets, immediately flap your arms quickly in order to facilitate the movement of air. If you remain in one of these pockets without flapping your arms, the oxygen contained in the air will quickly be depleted.

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